all the ladies i love ★ hanna marin (pretty little liars)

fool me once, shame on you. fool my best friend? you’re dead freakin’ meat.

all the ladies i love ★ karen jackson (shameless)

um, well, okay. i started having oral sex at a very young age, maybe 13. it was guys around the neighborhood, 3 or 4 at first, and then well, more than 3 or 4. i didn’t have intercourse till the 8th grade. i didn’t like it at first, but then around the 6th time it started to feel good. really good. but i didn’t feel good about it. um, there was a few times where i got high and started experimenting with guys and girls, at the same time. i wouldn’t necessarily call it an orgy, but there were a lot of naked body parts flying around, which felt very good, but kinda bad all at the same time. and then there was the time at mindy carlson’s sleepover, when we all got in the shower and started soaping each other up, and then her mom walked in and freaked out when she saw mindy in the shower with a big black strap on dildo.

all the ladies i love ★ lynette scavo (desperate housewives)

i hate you. a lot. but i do foresee a day far in the future when i might only hate you a little.

all the ladies i love ★ rachel green (friends)

daddy! daddy listen to me! it’s like all my life everyone’s told me, “you’re a shoe! you’re a shoe! you’re a shoe!” well, what if i don’t want to be a shoe? what if i wanna be a purse or a hat? no i don’t want you to buy me a hat, i’m saying i am a hat. it’s a metaphor daddy!

all the ladies i love ★ emily prentiss (criminal minds)

you have to understand, i’m a nerd. like, seriously. and i can fool people for days, weeks, even, but sooner or later i blow my cover and i say something so geeky, and then he doesn’t respond, and i lose all confidence.

all the ladies i love ★ pam beesly (the office)

it took me so long to do so many important things. it’s just hard to accept that i spent so many years being less happy than i could have been. jim was five feet from my desk and it took me four years to get to him. it would be great if people saw this documentary and learned from my mistakes. not that i’m a tragic person, i’m really happy now, but it would just make my heart soar if someone out there saw this and she said to herself ‘be strong, trust yourself, love yourself, conquer your fears’ just go after what you want and act fast because life just isn’t that long.

all the ladies i love ★ marissa cooper (the oc)

of course i’m screwed up. i’m the daughter of a thief and a slut.

all the ladies i love ★ leslie knope (parks and recreation)

no, i’ve not smoked marijuana. i ate a brownie once at a party in college. it was intense. it was kind of indescribable, actually. i felt like i was floating. turns out there wasn’t any pot in the brownie. it was just an insanely good brownie. 

all the ladies i love ★ tyra collette (friday night lights)

what, should i write about my trashy family, about the fact that my sister’s a stripper, or my mom is a high school drop out who drinks boxes of wine like it’s water? or about the fact that i lost my virginity when i was thirteen, or the fact that my papa wasn’t around? how about that? oh, i know what i should write about! the fact that up until two years ago i had enough hate in my heart to start a freaking car.

all the ladies i love ★ joey potter (dawson’s creek)

growing up sucks. not all kisses are magic, and most boys do not live up to your expectations, but there are those times when everything, i mean love, romance, relationships, it all falls together perfectly and it’s incredible. it’s those moments, no matter how depressingly few and far between, that make growing up worth it.

all the ladies i love ★ naomi campbell (skins)

you couldn’t make me feel alright if you stapled your tongue to my clit and stood on a cement mixer.

all the ladies i love ★ ellie bartowski (chuck)

you’re eleanor bartowski-woodcomb, phd, md. the brainiest, sexiest, kickass-iest woman i have ever known. you’re not just anything, ellie. you’re mrs. awesome.

all the ladies i love ★ april ludgate (parks and recreation)

i don’t want to do things. i want to not do things.

all the ladies i love ★ spencer hastings (pretty little liars)

i found a way to survive my secrets, but everyone i care about gets hurt.

all the ladies i love ★ taylor townsend (the oc)

if i could leave you all with one final word of advice ‘nolite te bastardes carborundorum’ don’t let the bastards get you down.